![]() So i know what it is like to live in fear of being hit or forced into very painful positions, for no reason except that i live and I’m female. But mainly because i was abused by my older teenage brothers. One because i now have a very painful medical condition that could be exacerbated very easily. My son is 34 and although he only once hit me when he was 20, I’m really anxious about it happening again. I wish i had an answer or even a suggestion. I feel like the most horrible thing to ever live, and I'm including viruses in this, I just so awful and I'm still recovering. I blew up and shouted (I never shout) the word "F*** YOU!" to my roommate for like a minute straight and then took 20 Ativan and two trazadone. I may be seen as a tool but I just like being nice.Īnyways. Normally I'm really quiet and skiddish (I'm five seven in a world of six footers) and I speak slowly and at reasonable volume. He openingly devalued my opinion (after many little scuffs before hand) and I just blew it. When he works on audio stuff he goes all like "I went to school for this." When in fact I went to school for art. My caregiver tried to contain me but the roommate insisted that I wasn't the person to talk to concerning Photoshop, Illustrator, Indesign, and such. I learned later in life (like three years ago) I was diagnosed with autism and I just blew up at my roommate. Oh, and Aspies, get a sense of humor, and avoid NT's who refuse to recognize let alone empathize (ironic) with the way we are. I may never get to that finish line, but neither does any human, not for long anyway, before death claims us. I have a good therapist and a great wife and I'm working all the time to redirect traffic in my brain to "get it right". Now, 6 years later, though far from the finish line, at least I'm in the race. I was on numerous anti-depressants, so much that I was developing pseudo-Parkinsons in my left hand (I quit those too), suicidal, angry, sick, exhausted from lack of sleep, PTSD and chronic depression, overweight. I now know why I have had such a hard time in life, and this is good, because I can now address the challenge of trying to work around the part of my brain that's abnormal, and stop hurting the ones I love. ![]() When I quit smoking and drinking, my mind cleared up and I asked questions about myself and figured out, based on similarity to other peoples symptoms, that I have Aspergers (I have taken every test available, I score high on all of them for Aspergers). I didn't know I was until around 6 years ago. I hope this answer was not too late and that it helps someone. Just a woman in love with a man who happens to be autistic. Ask me any questions you may have and I will speak of my experiences. He provides me the best of company and I hope to be with him until we leave this world. ![]() We have come along way.I hope you people out there do not give up!! He is an amazing and highly intelligent man. Former alcoholic, we do not drink except for a couple of ciders here and there. He also smokes cannabis and is not on any meds. Everyone is different but this is how I handle them. All I can say is if you can do your best to avoid a meltdown then do it.Once they start sometimes it feels impossible to stop that moment. I do it in hopes he doesn't selfharm but there was a relapse.he cuts. My partner can be suicidal at times because of depression so i do have a really hard time leaving him alone. Do not over text and blow up their phone though. If you need to walk away then exercise that right. Yes, sometimes the ONLY thing to do is let them walk off. This has lead to physical altercations that could have been avoided but wasn't because I wanted to be "in control". I will admit the hardest thing for me is to let him run off. I am 23 and I have severe anxiety but have been able to cope very well now.
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